SAFE HOUSE REVIEW (MINOR SPOILERS)

The best thriller this year!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

This movie had me sold on Denzel playing the bad ass. He is one of the best actors Hollywood has to offer. Adding Ryan Reynolds to the mix just made it spicier. Putting both of them in a thriller should have made this movie a must see. It damn sure is because it delivers all the goods and more. One of the best films of the year!

STORY

Matt Weston, played by Ryan Reynolds, is a house keeper for the CIA. He houses some of the most dangerous criminals alive. Too bad he hardly sees any action. That is until Tobin Frost, played by Denzel Washington, shows up as his most welcomed guest. Tobin found himself in a lot of trouble with the CIA and South African authorities. It is believed that he has a file that contains all of the traders in every government agency. They want that file to cover their asses and to put a stop to Tobin for good. After a short torture scene the safe house is broken into. Everyone dies except for Matt. That's because Tobin talked him into taking him out of harm's way. This puts Matt in grave danger with everyone including his house guest.

You can trust me!

After an intense car chase Tobin tries to escape but Matt gets the upper hand. He informs his boss that he has him secure but needs another safe house. They arrange it but it will take them 12 hours to get there. His boss tells him to pick up a GPS that will show him the directions. The GPS is at a soccer event hiden in a locker. Once retrieved Tobin shows his ass and manages to escape. Matt tries to catch up with him but only manages to kill an officer and get his ear drum busted. He's lucky that Tobin only kills professionals.

This is all I did... for a year!

Worried that his career, and maybe life, is up in smoke he tries to recapture Frost. He uses his thinking skills and manages to find him. He ends up not only reclaiming his guest but also saving his life. He takes him to the new safe house to find out that it's not safe at all. Can Matt survive knowing the danger he's in and will Frost do anything to help him? Why should he? He's not his guest.

Just don't shoot me in the ass

ACTING

The acting here is superb. Denzel and Ryan have great chemistry together. The supporting staff were also believable characters and played their parts well. You can feel the tension between the characters and the need to smack one of them. It's a thrill ride all around.

Like these guys

SPECIAL EFFECTS

I enjoyed the lighting and the atmosphere they created. The fight scenes looked realistic enough to pass as legit. I liked how they made most of their characters scramble and claw when they were fighting and washed away all that over the top Jet Li crap. There were several car chases that brought in a raw intensity that helped the film stand out from its genre. It was nicely done and fun to watch.

Bad boy for life!

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by David Guggenheim and directed by Daniel Espinosa. David put together a story that is intriguing and exciting. I was at the edge of my seat the whole time wondering how Matt and Tobin will get out of their situation. He mainly focused on the two main characters and their past. He never lost direction of the story and kept the main points in view. The movie is filmed in a gritty saturation that was able to capture the look and feel of the country. Daniel did a good job filming an action thriller that didn't disappoint.

THE END

It's a must see film. It's the best thriller this year. Denzel has chemistry with everyone and brings out the best in Ryan. I hope studios can make more films like this. I know Denzel will!

OVERALL

STORY 7 out of 10
ACTING 8 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 7 out of 10
WRITING 7 out of 10
DIRECTING 7 out of 10

OVERALL 7 out of 10 (MUST SEE)

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The Woman in Black Review (Minor Spoilers)

Not very scary at all.

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

They are calling this film the scariest movie of the year. If I had a dime for everytime I heard that I would be able to afford a high end hooker. I wouldn't want to use one though because I don't want crabs but you get the idea. I walked in the theater hoping that this promise will turn out true. Like all fake advertising it wasn't. To be disappointed would be putting it lightly. I've seen a good share of horror films featuring ghosts and this doesn't even reach the top 20. Don't waste your time!

STORY

The story takes place in the late 1880s. Arthur, played by Daniel Radcliffe, is a father who is full with grief. He lost his wife during child birth and is now having a hard time dealing with life and work, even after his son is old enough to understand his pain. His boss gives him one more chance to prove himself before he gets cut loose. He has to go to a home located in Nine Lives Causeway that is believed to be haunted. The town folk doesn't tell him any of this because they are either stupid or just plain dickheads.

Dickheads

They give him all kinds of run arounds to keep him from doing his job. Like any desperate man would, he finds a way to the house and experiences some crazy things. He keeps seeing a woman in black and she, at first, is playing mind games with him.  He returns back to the villiage and witnesses a young girl die in front of him. The town folk blame him but won't tell him why. He goes to the house to stay the night and it's there that The Woman in  Black shows her ass. It's not just mind tricks this time but lots of ghost fun. Before she can scare him shitless his friend pops up and stops the madness.

What's the ax going to do?

His friend refuses to believe it but his wife is no fool. She informs him about the curse and that whomever sees the woman a child dies. He fears that his son is next on her list and thinks of a way to end her streak. He thinks reuniting her with her dead son will do the trick. Do you think he is right? She did say that she will never forgive!

What did I do to deserve this?

ACTING

The acting here was decent at best. Daniel did pull off a different side of him that I think will drive him to a better acting career. It was his lack of fear that made me cringe. Not once did I feel that he was truly afraid. He seemed to wooden when he was suppose to stain his pants. The town folk did a better job presenting fear than he did. The film does maintain a good amount of chemistry with its actors and actresses. It's a decent acted movie that will at least keep you interested.

Like her!

SPECIAL EFFECTS

For a film like this I would expect better effects. The Woman in Black was not scary looking at all. She reminded me more of a sickly woman than anything else. Her dead son seemed more frightening than her. I did like the scenery and fog though. It captured the feeling of a haunted place and human dread. It's just a shame at most of the scares couldn't deliver.

Spooky

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Jane Goldman and directed by James Watkins. Jane put together a story that had all the right ingredients except heart. I was bored for most of the film and the only thing that made me jump was the loud noises, the music, and the birds flying out of no where. The characters are uninteresting and I couldn't care about any of them. She should have gave the children more character development instead of killing them off. It could have added more emotion into the picture and gave us someone to care to about.

My son!

The directing was gritty and intense. Loved the dark scenery and the tension. The director filmed the movie the best way he could. I don't want to say that he is the reason that this movie didn't live up to the hype because he was able to capture a horror film. I think everyone else let him down.

THE END

Don't waste your money. The film is boring and not very scary. You're better off waiting for video. Save your money for something better. I know I will.

OVERALL


STORY 5 out of 10
ACTING 5 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 6 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 6 out of 10


OVERALL 5 out of 10 (Wait for Video)

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN: SNEAK PEEK INTO THE MOVIE



I got to see it first bitches!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

I was lucky and hungry enough to receive free passes into the sneak peek of this film. I was so happy to see some scenes and get a feel about how awesome or dull this movie will be. I'm writing this article to share my experience of the event and tell you what to expect when the movie opens this July. I can tell you it was an exhausting, exciting, silly, and fun little event. I won't ever do this again but at least I got free popcorn, a t-shirt, gave a middle finger to a camera, and an open mind about this film. Go Spidey or not?

THE FIRST LINE

Horrible! Terrible! I had to stand in the damn cold for a Spiderman movie! I was pissed!!! Not really though but that line was long. I'm talking about making a circle around the building long... TWICE! It didn't help that I had to stand in line with a bunch of annoying college students who wanted to sleep with each other. I could tell by her fake laughter and his school boy tactics; Making up dumb jokes, telling her how cute her hair is, neglecting her pimples,  anything to get in a young woman's pants. On the other arm there was a guy who I will call Smelly. Only because he smelled like body odor. He told me that he literally ran here because he was running late. I was just thinking he was so excited that he forgot to put on his deodorant. Being stuck in between Tom and Jerry and an oversized gym sock was not something that I was expecting. The line wasn't moving much either and I envisioned myself either leaving while giving Sony a middle finger or taking out my cell phone and unleashing fake gun shots to get people to piss their pants.

Yeah it was that serious!

Finally the damn line moved.  I was able to get my way to the front of the building. I was excited that I will finally escape my cluster fuck and get into the film. The Sony executives took the passes and gave us a little spider logo to hold. After receiving my golden ticket I ran past my enemies and got to the station. I was surprised to see camera men and light fixtures. I wasn't expecting that at all. They even had refreshments, popcorn, and giving away t-shirts. Some people were being interviewed which I thought was pretty cool. Of course I avoided all this shit because what I came for was spidey and not their fat man snacks. Then the horror hit me and I realize that Sony are dickheads. I had to wait in another damn line!

THE SECOND LINE


This was worst then the first one. People are disgusting slobs when no one is watching. Standing in that line proved to me that if society ever crumbles that humans will result back to being douchebags. There were popcorn all over the floor, spilt soda like they really didn't give a fuck, and how did someone lose their damn panties? I really don't want to know how I'm just disappointed that I missed the show. Then I was stuck in another cluster fuck.

This some bullshit!

This time it was with an internet geek who makes love to Spiderman on the regular and a hoe. I really don't know if she was a hoe or not but her outfit wasn't leaving much to the imagination. I didn't mind until her man, or someone who wants to d**k her, kept eyeballing me. Newsflash for men who act like this: If you have to eyeball a stranger who is standing behind your girlfriend to see if he is checking her out you either have serious relationship issues, can't trust her, or you have a small penis and try to punk out any man that you fear may have a bigger penis than you. It's called Small Dick Syndrome. Wife beaters have it too. Finally the line started to move and boom. I'm in Spiderman baby!

THE SNEAK PEEK

The theater was packed with raging fans eager to get their viewing on. It had lighting equipment setup and its own projector. First we saw the new trailer and it was in 3D. The trailer looked good but I wasn't totally hooked yet. Then we saw some additional footage that told us more about the story. It seems that spiderman's father was involved in some shady business. His parents disappeared and left Peter Parker, played by Andrew Garfield, with his grandparents. Peter is still being bullied at school by Flash. They even played a small homage to Flash Gordon during the scene.

I so can kick your ass!

Peter Parker remains his sarcastic self even when he gets beat down. Gwen Stacy, played by Emma Stone, is his love interest in this film. The chemistry between the two is very good. Instead of Peter chasing her she is already in love with him and is willing to stand by his side. Her father, played by Denis Leary, is hunting down Spiderman and thinks he's a vigilante that needs to be brought to justice. What surprised me was having him reveal himself to Gwen and allowing the police to remove his mask. Rather or not he is recognized is still unanswered but it makes me want to see the film.

Fun times!

Dr. Curt Connors, played by Rhys Ifans looked like the version in the comics. His lizard form is all CGI but it looks pretty sweet. The CGI itself wasn't fully finished but some of the scenes looked eye popping. They still have a lot to finish but the action looks promising. The dialog seemed to flow well and the humor is there. I thought to myself if they used this comic approach with Tobey Maguire this movie would be awesome. Don't get me wrong, Andrew is a good Spiderman, I just have to get use to him. To answer some of your questions:

Does Spiderman have to make his own web material?
Yes

Is Mary Jane in it?
No

Is Harry Osbourne present?
Only mentioned

Any other villains than lizard?
Nope

Is this Spiderman funnier than the last?
So far the answer is Damn Right!

Is this film going to be better than Sam Raimi's?
Humor wise yes, everything else is still hanging in the air.

THE END

The movie itself makes me want to see it just to find out if they had the balls to unmask him in the first movie. The humor is good and is better then the first series. The action looks to be exciting and the 3D looked great. I am excited about this film and it does look better than I thought. I would go see it, even if it's just to compare the movies. I know I will never go to a Sony sneak peek again.

CHRONICLE REVIEW (Minor Spoilers)

Boys will be boys!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

The trailer took everyone by surprise. The trailer showed us what teenagers would do with extraordinary powers. They will be total douches! The mystery behind how they got their powers was a good draw to most movie goers. Having one of them turn to the dark side was also a nice hook. So does this film live up to the hype? I say yes sir!

STORY

Andrew, played by Dane DeHaan, just brought a new camera. He wants to film portions of his life because he simply has nothing else better to do. He has no friends, his cousin is a total basket case, and he gets bullied at school. O yes and his father is an alcoholic and a piece of crap. His cousin, played by Alex Russell, wants him to go to a party so he can have some fun.  Andrew decides what the hell and brings his camera with him. A jealous boyfriend thought that he was filming his whorey girlfriend and decided to punch him in the face. For fate to have it this puts him in the direction of Steve, played by Michael B. Jordan, who happens to be the most popular guy in school. He wants Andrew to film something that he and Andrew's cousin found. Andrew just wanted to be left alone.

So he could crush some shit!

Steve gets him to come along and Andrew films the whole thing. A few days later we learn that the three boys now have super powers. This brings them closer and they become best buds. Everytime they use their powers it makes them stronger. No one is stronger than Andrew though because he has the most rage. His mother is dying a painful death that he can't do anything about. He also can't get any luck with the ladies because he's a total square. Feeling alone and hurt he takes a flight up to the sky to clear his head. Steve finds him and tries to calm him down but gets a lightening bolt jammed up his ass!

My bad!

Being the reason for Steve's death and his mother inner torment he decides to go rob and kill a few people. He gets burned badly during the process though. It didn't stop him because when he awoke he went ape shit on the whole town. It is now up to his cousin to stop him but is he strong enough? It was indeed a battle that you need to see.

Epic!

ACTING

The acting was surprisingly good. I guess playing a teenager and a douche is a piece of cake. Dane played the abused teen very well. You could see the anger and rage in his eyes which made the character multi dimesional. Everyone else followed suit and made the movie entertaining. It was a nice treat that I didn't expect.

Smile

SPECIAL EFFECTS

The effects here are great. Everything looked as real as it could be. Ok maybe the flying and the clouds looked fake but it is still above average. The fight scene looked neat and I liked how they interacted with their environment. They brought their A game for this film.

O yeah!

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Max Landish and Josh Trank. They put together a great story. It flowed nicely and the dialog felt like something most people would say. I liked how they told a story about an abused teen turning into Darth Vader. It was a fun ride to be on. The film was also directed by Josh. Everything is bright and crisp and you can see the action in full view. I enjoyed how he used many different angles to get a unique take on the action. It was a job well done.

THE END

The film is a must see. It tells a good story and the action is pretty good. The only complaint that I can see is the length. The movie is very short and could have been made longer. If you don't mind seeing an 80 minute movie that will run you around 10 bucks or more then be my guest. It's worth the money.

OVERALL

STORY 7 out of 10
ACTING 6 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 7 out of 10
WRITING 7 out of 10
DIRECTING 8 out of 10

OVERALL 7 out of 10 (GOOD MOVIE)