Thursday, February 9, 2012

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN: SNEAK PEEK INTO THE MOVIE



I got to see it first bitches!
THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

I was lucky and hungry enough to receive free passes into the sneak peek of this film. I was so happy to see some scenes and get a feel about how awesome or dull this movie will be. I'm writing this article to share my experience of the event and tell you what to expect when the movie opens this July. I can tell you it was an exhausting, exciting, silly, and fun little event. I won't ever do this again but at least I got free popcorn, a t-shirt, gave a middle finger to a camera, and an open mind about this film. Go Spidey or not?

THE FIRST LINE

Horrible! Terrible! I had to stand in the damn cold for a Spiderman movie! I was pissed!!! Not really though but that line was long. I'm talking about making a circle around the building long... TWICE! It didn't help that I had to stand in line with a bunch of annoying college students who wanted to sleep with each other. I could tell by her fake laughter and his school boy tactics; Making up dumb jokes, telling her how cute her hair is, neglecting her pimples,  anything to get in a young woman's pants. On the other arm there was a guy who I will call Smelly. Only because he smelled like body odor. He told me that he literally ran here because he was running late. I was just thinking he was so excited that he forgot to put on his deodorant. Being stuck in between Tom and Jerry and an oversized gym sock was not something that I was expecting. The line wasn't moving much either and I envisioned myself either leaving while giving Sony a middle finger or taking out my cell phone and unleashing fake gun shots to get people to piss their pants.


Yeah it was that serious!

Finally the damn line moved.  I was able to get my way to the front of the building. I was excited that I will finally escape my cluster fuck and get into the film. The Sony executives took the passes and gave us a little spider logo to hold. After receiving my golden ticket I ran past my enemies and got to the station. I was surprised to see camera men and light fixtures. I wasn't expecting that at all. They even had refreshments, popcorn, and giving away t-shirts. Some people were being interviewed which I thought was pretty cool. Of course I avoided all this shit because what I came for was spidey and not their fat man snacks. Then the horror hit me and I realize that Sony are dickheads. I had to wait in another damn line!

THE SECOND LINE


This was worst then the first one. People are disgusting slobs when no one is watching. Standing in that line proved to me that if society ever crumbles that humans will result back to being douchebags. There were popcorn all over the floor, spilt soda like they really didn't give a fuck, and how did someone lose their damn panties? I really don't want to know how I'm just disappointed that I missed the show. Then I was stuck in another cluster fuck.


This some bullshit!

This time it was with an internet geek who makes love to Spiderman on the regular and a hoe. I really don't know if she was a hoe or not but her outfit wasn't leaving much to the imagination. I didn't mind until her man, or someone who wants to d**k her, kept eyeballing me. Newsflash for men who act like this: If you have to eyeball a stranger who is standing behind your girlfriend to see if he is checking her out you either have serious relationship issues, can't trust her, or you have a small penis and try to punk out any man that you fear may have a bigger penis than you. It's called Small Dick Syndrome. Wife beaters have it too. Finally the line started to move and boom. I'm in Spiderman baby!

THE SNEAK PEEK

The theater was packed with raging fans eager to get their viewing on. It had lighting equipment setup and its own projector. First we saw the new trailer and it was in 3D. The trailer looked good but I wasn't totally hooked yet. Then we saw some additional footage that told us more about the story. It seems that spiderman's father was involved in some shady business. His parents disappeared and left Peter Parker, played by Andrew Garfield, with his grandparents. Peter is still being bullied at school by Flash. They even played a small homage to Flash Gordon during the scene.


I so can kick your ass!

Peter Parker remains his sarcastic self even when he gets beat down. Gwen Stacy, played by Emma Stone, is his love interest in this film. The chemistry between the two is very good. Instead of Peter chasing her she is already in love with him and is willing to stand by his side. Her father, played by Denis Leary, is hunting down Spiderman and thinks he's a vigilante that needs to be brought to justice. What surprised me was having him reveal himself to Gwen and allowing the police to remove his mask. Rather or not he is recognized is still unanswered but it makes me want to see the film.


Fun times!

Dr. Curt Connors, played by Rhys Ifans looked like the version in the comics. His lizard form is all CGI but it looks pretty sweet. The CGI itself wasn't fully finished but some of the scenes looked eye popping. They still have a lot to finish but the action looks promising. The dialog seemed to flow well and the humor is there. I thought to myself if they used this comic approach with Tobey Maguire this movie would be awesome. Don't get me wrong, Andrew is a good Spiderman, I just have to get use to him. To answer some of your questions:

Does Spiderman have to make his own web material?
Yes

Is Mary Jane in it?
No

Is Harry Osbourne present?
Only mentioned

Any other villains than lizard?
Nope

Is this Spiderman funnier than the last?
So far the answer is Damn Right!

Is this film going to be better than Sam Raimi's?
Humor wise yes, everything else is still hanging in the air.

THE END

The movie itself makes me want to see it just to find out if they had the balls to unmask him in the first movie. The humor is good and is better then the first series. The action looks to be exciting and the 3D looked great. I am excited about this film and it does look better than I thought. I would go see it, even if it's just to compare the movies. I know I will never go to a Sony sneak peek again.




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