Night of the Demons (Remake) Review



Got to love B horror!

 THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

Remember a long time ago. Around lets say 1988. There was a movie called Night of the Demons. That movie was funny, campy, sexy (somewhat), gory to all hell, and was one of the first horror movies to actually have the black guy make it out alive. It spawned a couple of sequels through the 90s but none of them are memorable. Now fast forward to 2011 and here we are with Night of the Demons remake that doesn't live up to the original but instead makes it a movie of it's own...barely.

STORY

Pussy is great!

Like all good horror movies it begins on Halloween. The only night where it's ok to look like a whore and the three female leads take full advantage of it. Lily, played by Diora Baird, Maddie, played by Monica Keena, and Suzanne, played by Bobbi Sue Luther, are all going to a rave hosted by Angela, played by Shannon Elizabeth, at Broussard Mansion in New Orleans. You see a long time ago six people disappeared from the very mansion never to be seen again and the owner, Evangeline Broussard, played by Tatyana Kanavka, hung herself. Given its rich history, Angela picked the perfect place to party and make a decent dollar. Unfortunately the place is haunted with seven demons that was kicked out of hell for trying to kill Satan! Talk about badass.

Remind me to say a prayer tonight

At the party all the girls meet up with their past boyfriends and lovers. A fat Edward Furlong plays a drug dealer named Colin who attended the party to make a killing on selling drugs. When the party is broken up by the police he sends his drugs down into the basement. When they all went down to check out the creepiness they inadvertently awoken the demons. Within moments things begin to go bad...very bad.

The acting was that bad

Turns out the demons can only enter the human body through a bite, scratch, sex, kissing, and death. Yes there was a lot of sex going around and I'm talking about weird sex. One by one they were all dropping like flies. A couple got bit, one got it in the butt (literally), and a few died some horrible deaths. Some even comical. It ends where it begins with a twist of unique trickery. It brought a whole new meaning to "Trick or Treat"

ACTING

For a B movie the acting was ok. It wasn't great by any means but I could accept there performances based on the content. The best actor here was John F. Beach. His character name was Jason and he had a few one liners. He provided the comic relief that made the movie worth while. Edward Furlong looked horrible and acted like he didn't care. The chemistry lacked in some areas mostly due to Edward's acting ability. I swear what happened to this guy? I guess cocaine really does kill.

That shot was hot

Monica Keena plays the heroine in the film while Shannon plays the lead demon. Shannon was never known for her acting and it seemed she never wanted to be. She knows what she's good at it and it doesn't fall short in this film. Monica tries to relive her Freddy vs Jason role to no prevail. I was more intrigued with her messed up lip job than her acting. Did she really think no one would notice?

What the fuck happened to you?

SPECIAL EFFECTS

This movie has plenty of gore and grotesque makeup. Most of the demons look silly and nothing like the actors that played them. They really went over the top with the makeup and with some scenes. You can tell the people behind this wanted to break new ground but came off looking like virgins with sick fantasies. The lipstick trick was neatly done so I have to give credit when it's due. This scene really grossed me out and I'm sure it will for a few of you as well. That's one of the few things that you may take with you when the movie is over but that's it. Well maybe the demon three-some but that was just plain weird.

Run

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch. Adam also directed this straight to DVD video. I won't be too hard on these guys because it is a B movie but I know if a script like this can be made into a movie then I have no worries about my work. The script isn't complete crap it's just bad...laughable bad. The dialog between these characters sometimes felt like a bunch of horny brats in a treehouse arguing who has the bigger Johnson and which girl has the looser rubberband. The directing is amateurish at best. It looked like the director didn't know the difference from light and dark. Hopefully he will get better with more projects but as of right now his future isn't looking to bright.

THE END

The remake needs a remake with actors who care, a writer who knows how to write decent dialog, and a director who can film in dark settings. The film isn't a complete waste of time and may even be enjoyable to some who are in tongue and cheek horror. The original is far better in every way but this movie may find a cult following due to the weird sex scenes. Maybe not a large one because I don't think there's that many dumb people in the world. Then again George Bush was elected twice.

I like this!

STORY 5 out of 10
ACTING 4 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 4 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 4 out of 10

OVERALL 4 (WATCH IF YOU DARE)

BLACK SWAN REVIEW

Isn't she beautiful?

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

This movie has high expectations to succeed. A retelling of one of the greatest plays ever, one of the best directors in the industry looking for his first Oscar run, and a lesbian scene with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. What more can you ask for? Winona Ryder getting in on the lesbo action? Yeah I was hoping for that too but hey if a 7-9 NFL football team can beat the superbowl champs anything can happen.

STORY

The film consists of Nina, played by Natalie Portman, dealing with her new role as the Swan Princess. Her ballet instructor named Thomas, played by Vincent Cassel, believes she lacks the fire to be the Black Swan. He tries to bring out her sexuality in creepy and seductive ways. He preys on her innocence and challenges Nina every step of the way. He is trying to unleash the fire that is inside her but she is too "fragile" to allow that to happen. That's when Mila Kunis comes in to play!

Sexy back

Mila is hot, sexy, seductive, and kinda skanky looking. Everything the Black Swan needs to be. Thomas let's Nina know that Lily, Mila Kunis character, has the passion to lead the play. He rudely whispers in Nina's ear "She's not faking it." It looked as if it sent a chill down Nina's spine. Lily has a lively personality and wants to get to know Nina. After a few brush offs Nina finally gives in and goes out partying with Lily. I won't give away any spoilers but the end result of this scene will leave every straight man happy and a fantasy fulfilled.

Finally a dream come true!

Eventually Lily becomes her understudy which sends Nina spiraling down to a dark hole. She begins to start turning on her mother, played by Barbara Hershey, by unleashing her built up frustration over the years. The mother didn't help with her sanity at all. It even looked as if she was the catalyst for her daughters devilish behavior. The mother kept her, what it seemed, sheltered from the world. There was a fixation about cutting Nina's nails to prevent her from doing acts of self mutilation. I took it as a sign for things to come.

If you are familiar with the black swan story then you know how it ends. I enjoyed the new take on the Swan Princess and how they imprinted a psychological thriller into a story about heartache. You never know what's real and what's in Nina's mind till the end and even then you will be left with many questions. One of them won't be "Can I get a refund?"

ACTING

Everyone played their parts well. From the main cast all the way down the ladder. The actors owned their roles and the chemistry was there. Vincent Cassel proved that he can be a prude and a male tempest at the same time. Natalie Portman delivered a good performance but not her best. Don't get me wrong she's good in this movie but I don't think she should win an Oscar for it. Acting like a sheltered princess and masturbating on film shouldn't warrant an Oscar win. Maybe a nod but definitely not the win but given the competition she has I can see her taking it. What other female actress had a better year than her?

I think I'm in love

Mila Kunis provided the fun that was lacking in this film. The film isn't dull but Mila's personality lights up the film. She did a great job as being the antagonist. She seemed to be having fun playing the bad girl. Barbara and Winona did just as fine. I wish Winona had more screen time but the time she did have was presented well. Her last appearance should leave a lasting impression.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

This film also displayed some stunning effects. Nothing gory but very eerie. There is also some jump scares that surprised me. The black swan transformation was done beautifully. The build up to see what she looked like at the end was almost titillating. She didn't look monstrous but darkly beautiful. Given it being a low budget film the special effects were never over the top and looked as real as being on an acid trip. I loved Lily's tattoo and how it seemed to change throughout the film... just lovely.

Shit!

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz, and John McLaughlin. With these many writers the film better had been good or there would have been three more people at the unemployment line. Luckily it turned out very well and the writers should get a nod for this. The dialog felt natural and not one character seemed alike. The pace of the story went well and nothing was confusing in what should have been a confusing movie. Now that's called a good storyteller or storytellers.

Darren Afonofsky, the man behind The Wrestler, PI, and Requiem for a Dream, directed this film. This has to be one of his best films to date. It's dark when it needs to be and the film has a natural gritty look to it. It's like you're actually taking a peak into someone else's life. I do think Darren deserves the Oscar for this one. He's long overdue but I think the Coen brothers will grab it for True Grit.

THE END

You get what you pay for. If you want a good story then see this anyway you can. If you want a story fueled with sexual tension and lesbian action then this is a story for you. If you're a fan of any of the actors, actresses, and director you won't be disappointed. If you don't believe me just take a look for yourself. What's the worst that can happen other than a boner in the theater and wondering if anyone sees it.



STORY 9 out of 10
ACTING 9 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 8 out of 10
WRITING 8 out of 10
DIRECTING 9 out of 10

OVERALL 9 (MUST SEE)

Death at a Funeral Review

Wow they made a black version

The Movie: Critic's Take

When I first heard about the movie I thought "This will be rubbish." Turns out that I was wrong...but not by much. The movie stars Chris rock, Martin Lawrence, Regina hall, Tracy Morgan, Danny Glover, The beautiful Zoe Saldana, Luke Wilson, and a bunch of other comedians that no one really cares about. This is a remake of the 2007 film of the same title. I didn't see the original (and I don't want to) so I can only imagine what type of antics occurred there. When I was viewing the movie I was sitting in my seat waiting to laugh. Sense this is a comedy that's not a good thing. I had to wait for James Marsden to get high for the film to really pick up.

Idiot

Once his antics begun so did the movie. From that part on the film grew on me. It had a couple of twists that I didn't see coming and had me wanting to know what will happen next. The antics weren't too over the top for a comedy of this nature and it looked like everyone were having fun. Well some that is.

STORY

The movie is about Aaron, played by Chris Rock, having his father's funeral at their family home. Turns out it was one of his father's last wishes. It begins with Brian, played by Kevin Hart, bringing in the wrong body! That's right Kevin is playing another dumbass. A role he's all too familiar with. If that wasn't enough Aaron also has to deal with his successful brother Ryan, played by Martin Lawrence, begging him for money. Ryan is an author waiting for his next advance to kick in so he can't pay for the funeral but his brother Aaron, who's a failed author, can. Yet his family still thinks that Aaron should step aside and let the real writer do the eulogy. Yep that makes sense! I would be pissed off too.

Jerk

The side stories consist of Elaine, played by Zoe Saldana, bringing her nervous and white boyfriend Oscar, played by James Marsden, to try to get along with her father. She goes over to her brother's home to pick him up for the funeral when she discovers some pills in a volume bottle in his living room. Like the smart person that she is she gives one to her boyfriend to calm his nerves. Turns out the pills are acid mixed with acid which is very strong acid. What it truly does is bring the movie to life with his antics and weird facial expressions. Most of the film turns to him until a little birdie comes to town or should I say a midget.

Aaron finds out that the little guy named Frank, played by Peter Dinklage, has a secret about his father. A secret that will give his mother a heart attack or any married woman for that matter. In order to keep this secret Aaron must pay him 50,000 dollars or he will spill the beans. He immediately goes to the younger brother but like I said before he's broke. So now what should Aaron do? O I know. Let Norman, played by Tracy Morgan, give him the pills of volume that he found. Opps those wasn't volumes and now Frank is acting like he lost his mind. What can Aaron do? Kill him perhaps and bury him with his father? Now guys isn't that kinda gross?

This some shit!

The pacing of the story does go by slowly but picks up around the middle. There's enough side stories going on to keep you entertained while the main characters solve their main issue. Tracy Morgan has his hands full being intertwined with three different plots but it wasn't like they didn't have enough comedians going around. It was just the lack of good ones. Why was Luke Wilson in this movie again?

ACTING

This is where the movie falls short. Most of the actors had zero chemistry together from Tracy Morgan to Luke Wilson to Regina Hall to Chris Rock. You can tell that most of the emotions and connections were forced. James Marsden and Zoe Saldana felt like they just met and Luke and Zoe looked awkward together. Chris Rock and Martin Lawrence did not come off well as brothers and Danny Glover was miscast as Uncle Russell. I thought that this actor, John Witherspoon, would have done a better job. The only chemistry I saw was with Peter Dinklage and Chris Rock. I guess it was easier to have tension instead of chemistry.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

There were hardly any special effects, that's if you want to count the poop on Tracy's hand. That was just gross. Funny...but gross.

Nope this was shit!

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The movie was written by Dean Craig and directed by Neil LaBute. Dean Craig wrote the original and the remake. Unheard of in Hollywood and for obvious reasons. I didn't think Dean captured the true potential of the actors in script. This could be the reason why they felt so forced and lack chemistry. Maybe a different writer was needed but it was a nice try. The direction was done fine. The director handled The Wicker Man remake and Lakeview Terrance respectfully. The film isn't very dark at all and blossoms in the sunlight. The director will find work again but the writer... he needs to stick to what he knows.

THE END

Overall the movie is worth a watch. It's funny at times but only because of a few people. I'll let you guess which ones. It's available on Netflix for instant download if you wish to give it a view. If this isn't on your to watch list then don't bother. You're not missing anything but Zoe's beauty. Death at a Funeral

Talk about smash and keep

STORY 7 out of 10
ACTING 6 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 5 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 6 out of 10

OVERALL 6 (GIVE IT A TRY)