Sucker Punch Review

Bitches can fight!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

Sucker punch is a film that was suppose to break new ground. The special effects looked top notch, the girls look sexy but classy, and the story seems interesting. The trailer alone was mind boggling. All the pieces looked right for the first blockbuster of the year. There was just one little problem. If you aren't a movie buff or into the structure of moving pictures then this story is hard to follow. Even this movie buff was like WTF!

STORY

The story begins with a music video of what happened between Baby Doll, played by Emily Browning, and her father. Looks like the mother was worth a pretty penny and the father wanted a piece of the pie. Unlucky for him, the mother left everything to her two daughters in case of her death. When the father found out about this he unleashed all hell on the two daughters, killing one of them and sending Baby Doll to a mental institution. He struck a deal with blue, played by Oscar Isaac, to keep Baby Doll's mouth shut. Turns out Blue is the one running the show in this place and everyone is afraid of him but in Baby Doll's world nothing is what it seems.

I'm Snow White

In Baby Doll's world she is imagining that the place she's in is like a showgirls whore house. They're professional dancers putting on shows for the rich and high rollers. Baby Doll's high roller is coming in five days and she needs to get out of there before he can claim her but she doesn't know how. Her dance instructor, played by Carla Gugino, tells her that in this place the world is whatever she wants it to be. She uses this to imagine a world of dragons, robot samurais, a wise man played by Scott Glenn, the living dead, and orks from Lord of the Rings. All of them she has to battle through in order to locate and retrieve the five items she needs to escape. Needless to say these action sequences will leave you wanting more.

DIE!!!

Eventually Blue finds out that the girls are trying to escape and reeks havoc upon them. One by one they begin to drop like flies but Baby Doll manages to punch through and solve the mystery behind her own pain. In the process she is able to free one of her comrades and give her a spanking new life. Blue gets whats coming to him and we can only assume that justice will be served. I won't give away anymore spoilers but if you want to get your summer blockbuster started this is the film for you.

I want a xbox 360 now!

ACTING

The acting here was well BLAH! You can tell that Emily was acting the whole time and not once did I sense that she was comfortable in her role. None of the girls seemed that way either except for Abbie Cornish and surprisingly Vanessa Hudgens. Abbie owned her role while Vanessa looked to be having fun. The chemistry with the girls was flat including the sister relationship between Abbie and Jena Malone.

Sisterly love

I never once bought them as sisters and it seemed like their emotions were forced. As for Jamie Chung her acting has improved but her character here has little importance. You can tell that she was just eye candy for the male audience. The chemistry here wasn't a complete failure because of Oscar and Carla. Whatever scene they were in you could feel their raw emotion seep through their pours. They were able to save this film and bring out the best in the other actresses. Shame the other actors couldn't keep up. It would have been a better film.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

This movie will blow you away. I loved the imagery in this film. There truly isn't a film like this out today. The fight scenes were crisp and flashy without the cheesiness and everything looked as real as it could be. The one thing that bothered me was the remodeled T1000s from Terminator. You would think that Zack Synder would come up with something more original. Overall, at least in this department, the film is everything it said it would be. It will blow your mind.

I hope she's not packing STD's

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The movie was written and directed by Zack Synder. I have zero complaints about the directing. Even though sometimes I felt as though I was watching a music video, the film is still titillating. It's the story that I have the beef with. I couldn't help but be confused when they started to switch between fantasy and reality. Without warning it constantly switched back and forth. This will leave any viewer wondering what the hell is going on. There wasn't enough character development for much of the cast and Scott Glenn's character was more annoying than anything else. The story didn't flow well because of this confusion and it may hurt the film in the end.

Classy whores!

THE END

Overall the film is a must see. The special effects are the best so far this year and the girls are sexy. I liked that he kept them looking classy and not to trashy. Too many films have girls in thongs and G strings or wearing scandalous clothing but not this film. If you can follow the story then this should be a fun ride for you. If not then you may have to watch it a few more times to understand everything. Something tells me that you won't mind doing that though.

STORY 6 out of 10
ACTING 4 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 8 out of 10
WRITING 4 out of 10
DIRECTING 8 out of 10

OVERALL SCORE 6 (WORTH A WATCH)


 
 

Limitless Review

Why?

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

March is a good month for risky movies. In the past years movies like Panic room, Phone booth, 300, and a bunch of other odd movies has been released, making March an interesting movie month. It's like a preshow before the actual event. The preshows no one really cares about but usually is watched to get amped for the actually show and/or because the person is  slightly bored. Limitless is no exception here. It's not a boring movie but it's not all that fun either unless you know math, the body, and how quickly shit can hit the fan. The last one we know all to well but the first two you need to go to school for.

STORY

Eddie, played by Bradley Cooper, is a struggling writer trying to get his book contract up and running. He's facing money obstacles that a lot of writers go through. His girlfriend, played by Abbie Cornish, dumped him because he was a loser. She claimed to love him but sense he couldn't keep himself together she leaves him high and dry, looking like he wants to kill himself. Instead he bumps into his ex brother in law who use to be a drug dealer. Turns out he still is and wants to help his former bro in law get his act together. He feeds him one pill and within seconds he becomes the new Einstein. Not just any Einstein but an attractive, wife banging, girl stealing, and money making motherf**cker. You know every man's dream.

Nice modeling shot!

During this process he's able to win back his gold digging girlfriend and make his way to the top of the finance business. He attracts the attention of Carl Van Loon, played by Robert De Niro. He's impressed with Eddie's style but knows something is up. He begins testing him but Eddie learns he can't do this stuff without his pills. He tries desperately looking for any loose pills while becoming very ill. He is also dealing with a loan shark that accidentally took a pill and became addicted to it. He also finds himself stalked by a mystery man who is hell bent on getting those pills, even if he has to kill everyone he knows. Those pills turned out to be worse than that Lord of the Rings' ring. They were truly precious.

E pill?

Eventually he gets another stash and gets back on track. He smartens up and hires new pharmacists to make him his own permanent stash. He also starts working for Carl and starts to merge with another finance company. He learns that the CEO is also on the very same pills and that he is the one behind his stalking. The CEO has the pills stolen from Eddie when he wasn't looking. This was a very bad time because The loan shark was able to find him and almost put Eddie's life to an end. Luckily Eddie was able to get a fresh batch, in a very disturbing way that will make your stomach turn, to save his life. With his own line of pills he was able to smarten all the way up to run for the senate but it looked like Carl was one step ahead. Carl wanted to give him a deal that he couldn't refuse but Eddie proved that he was still one step ahead. He was able to make the pill Limitless! Needless to say Carl was not very happy.

He lives?

ACTING

The acting here was blah. I couldn't feel for any of the characters including Bradley's. He felt a little off and didn't seem to fit the role. His chemistry with people was not limitless and it seemed the people that kept the movie together was Robert De Niro and the loan shark, played by Andrew Howard. These two were the best part of the movie and were able to keep me interested. The others didn't do so well. A movie needs chemistry to succeed and this lacks a lot of it.

Stupid!

SPECIAL EFFECTS

If you want to call looking through a crystal ball a special effect then this movie kicks ass. I didn't like much of the film's cinematography and the lighting was dull. Nothing real special happens in this department but this movie wasn't made to blow your eyes away. Now that I think about it why was this movie made? Anyone know?

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The movie was written by Leslie Dixon and directored by Neil Burger. The writing was ok when it came to dialog but there are too many plot holes that can't be ignored. Like why didn't Eddie payback the money when he had it all along? Why would anyone want back a gold digging female? How come no one else ever thought about making the pill stick like Eddie did? Too many plot holes for a movie like this.

I got my gold digger back

The directing was ok. Nothing really special. Neil seems like an average director that did a good enough job. Everything seems to be in focus and the camera work isn't a distraction. At least he knows he did a fine job. The others should be ashamed.

THE END

If you want to waste your money on it then go ahead and see it. If not wait for video or download. It's the type of movie you can enjoy seeing once at home from Netflix. Paying for ownership would be silly. No one will care about this movie less than 6 months from now. Hell, maybe even 5 mins. I know I will.



STORY 5 out of 10
ACTING 3 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 4 out of 10
WRITING 4 out of 10
DIRECTING 6 out of 10

OVERALL SCORE 4 (WAIT TILL VIDEO)
 

Battle: Los Angeles Review

Another damn alien movie!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

I saw the trailer and was instantly hooked right in. At first I thought it was the music but when I saw it again I noticed Michelle Rodriguez, Aaron Eckhart, and Bridget Moynahan. Figured it would be pretty good with these actors and the special effects. I have heard a bunch of mixed reviews about this movie but lets be honest with ourselves. What did you expect going in? An oscar contender? No. A movie with a great storyline? No. A movie that is suppose to make you feel for everyone involved? Hell no! This is a war action movie! That's all. If you entered the theater wanting to see anything but then maybe you need to rethink your choice in movies or just enjoy the movie for what it is.

STORY

It begins with the aging Aaron Eckhart trying to keep up with his new squad. His body wasn't having it and he had no choice but to expire his contract with the army. A decision he truly didn't want but was the right thing to do. Throughout the opening there was reports of meteors in the atmosphere approaching land. During this we learned a few things about the soldiers before the war started and that Aaron's character led a bunch of soldiers to their deaths during one of his last missions. Everyone knows about it and doesn't want him on their team once they get the call. They have no choice but to accept him when they were informed that the meteors aren't meteors but an invading army and their other second in command is on leave. You could have cut the tension with the knife.

Two face

Their first mission was to go to a police station and retrieve any survivors. They will have to do this in three hours because the air force will be unleashing all hell on Santa Monica. They believe that the aliens don't have an Air Force and they will be vulnerable to an air attack. When they enter the hot zone they come face to face with an enemy that doesn't know the meaning of death. A few of the soldiers gets injured during the fight. Luckily another squad joins them adding reinforcements. They manage to get the injured to the station and find five survivors withheld in them. The helicopter came but only took the injured soldiers leaving everyone behind. Turned out to be a good thing because the aliens did have an Air Force after all and destroyed the helicopter!

War

They had to come up with a new plan to get them all to safety. Luckily Aaron was smart enough to get one of the aliens and find their weak spot. Now with the new information they were ready for another show down. With a brave act from Aaron's character, and from one of the survivors, they managed to reach their new destination. A few key characters died along the way in ways that would have made them heroes. Unfortunately, their new destination was also destroyed by the aliens giving them a deep sense of grief.

This is hell

After a brief heart to heart the soldiers came to an understanding about Aaron's character and why he did what he did. Another rescue plane came and took them all on board. With the help from Michelle's character Aaron was able to find the command center and chose to stay behind and destroy it. All of his team made the same decision, not leaving him behind by himself. Together they were able to take down the command center in Los Angeles and stop the aliens. The sake of the entire world however is another story.

ACTING

For a war movie the acting was pretty good. Some of the side characters didn't come off as believable soldiers and the way they expressed their emotions were stale. The only character that was believable was Aaron's. He played the part well and made me want him to live. Everyone else could have their heads blown off and I wouldn't have cared. The chemistry between everyone was good enough for a film like this but you can tell for some it was just another pay check. Overall this movie wasn't made to be built around acting so don't expect much.

Jamaican Aliens

SPECIAL EFFECTS

I have to say I was disappointed with the special effects. They aren't bad but I've seen a lot better. Giving the trailer I knew the film would be filmed gritty and dirty but I expected better looking aliens and space crafts. They reminded me of garbage and a garbage can mutated together. It didn't look cool or gross. It just looked stupid. The battle scenes were good but everything else didn't look right or was just plain unflattering.

Modern Warfare 3?

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The movie was written by Christopher Bertolini and directed by Jonathan Liebesman. Chris tried to make this film into something else by adding side story lines and giving some back stories about the soldiers. This turned out to be a bad idea because I didn't care about any of that. From the looks of things neither did the people in the audience. He gave us some funny moments that gave the film some light but the actors weren't strong enough to deliver the emotions he wrote.

The directing was decent at best. I couldn't tell who was who and that shaky cam work has to go. I was able to see the battle scenes pretty well but I would like to know what soldier was firing at what. The feel of the movie was perfect for a war film though and it was the right move to keep the film dirty looking. It's not war if it isn't dirty.

I swear she's a lesbo

THE END

The movie is good overall. Just enter knowing what to expect. It's an action war movie nothing more. I liked the film and I think most people will too, if they come in with the right state of mind. It's a simple film and you won't be bored. Give it a try. You might like it...for what it is.



STORY 6 out of 10
ACTING 4 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 6 out of 10
WRITING 7 out of 10
DIRECTING 6 out of 10

OVERALL 6 (GIVE IT A TRY)
 
 
 

Beastly Review

Great film!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

When I first heard about this movie I thought "O no! Not another movie starring an Olson twin!" During the screening process I heard nothing but good things about the film. I decided to rethink my feelings toward Mary-Kate and her counter-part Vanessa Hudgens. The film isn't doing so well in the theaters but that doesn't mean the film isn't watchable. I walked in the theater not expecting anything great but left with a smile on my face. The film is enjoyable from beginning to end and Mary-Kate really impressed me.

STORY

It begins with Kyle, played by Alex Pettyfer, showing off his good looks and rock hard abs. He's running for school president and is solely campaigning against ugly people. He has a problem with anyone who isn't attractive and treats them like crap. He catches the eye of the school witch played by Mary Kate. She warns him that messing with a witch is never a good idea. Of course he doesn't listen and tries to play a mean joke on her. She knew all along what he was planning and decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. She lays a curse on him turning his inner beauty outward. Too bad for him that his inner beauty was as ugly as a bat.

Fugly

He has a year to find someone to say the words "I love you." to him while meaning it. He falls into a deep depression when he realizes his own father doesn't even want him. He hires a blind man played by Neil Patrick Harris to teach him and enlists their servent played by Lisa Gay Hamilton to watch over him. They became his only friends and the only people that really care for him. They motivate him to take a chance and live his life. This leads him to stalk an old friend of his that he never really noticed to begin with; Linda, played by Vanessa Hudgens, the only good girl in school.

Thank you !

Through his stalking he realizes that everyone hated him because of how he treated people but Linda was the only one who respected his ways. He saves her life when her drug addict father was doing a deal that went wrong. The father ended up killing the dealer's brother which made him vow to seek revenge against his daughter. The father sends her to live with Kyle so he can protect her until this issue gets resolved. She doesn't want to be there and shows it with her emotions. He buys her gifts and tries everything to impress her. Nothing was working until he decides to do something that he hasn't done in awhile... be himself.

This leads to a friendship that blossomed on screen. Eventually they do fall in love and the spell is broken. Kyle also achieved good things for his friends. The witch was also impressed with his new found attitude and decided to do him one more favor. Give the father the same treatment!

She rocked it

ACTING

This film is full of chemistry. Everyone was able to feed off from one another. You can feel the connection between Vanessa and Alex. Watching their relationship unfold on screen was a delight to see. Neil Patrick Harris and Mary Kate gave some of their best performances here. Neil was funny from the time he entered till the time he left and I was really impressed with Mary. I didn't think she could act that well but she proved she can do roles that require a bit of sass and a taste of evilness. I wish her the best because she has skills that the world needs to see.

My hero

SPECIAL EFFECTS

I loved the makeup and their choice of scenery. It was very unique to say the least. I loved how his tattoos would change with the seasons and how they just pop out at you. The film was bright and lively, even during dark settings, that kept the feel of the movie from being too depressing. A great choice I have to say.

I think I'm falling for a monster.

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The movie was written and directed by Daniel Barnz. He did a great job keeping the pace of the film. It didn't feel rushed and the story flowed nicely. I enjoyed most of the dialog in this film. Neil was able to use his wit to bring the dialog to life and keep the crowd engaged in the film. Prehaps he was the best writtien character of all. Daniel was able to keep everything in full view and nothing seemed out of focus. He may need to brush up on his smash cuts but you can hardly notice if you're not a film buff. A decent film from a soon to be great director.

THE END

Give it a view. You won't be disappointed. If you love love stories this is the perfect one. I couldn't help but smile and root for him to succeed. One of the best films of the year!

Not so bad after all

STORY 8 out of 10
ACTING 7 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 7 out of 10
WRITING 8 out of 10
DIRECTING 7 out of 10

OVERALL 8 (WORTH A VIEW)


 

The Adjustment Bureau Review

Not bad at all!

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

The movie sprung up out of nowhere for me. I didn't know what it was or who was in it. When I saw the short trailer for the film I thought it looked dumb. Then I saw the making of it and was indeed impressed. I received an early screening of this film and was delighted to see it. The film blew me away with it's originality and how they were able to make this film into a sense-able work of art. A must see for a viewer longing to be entertained.

STORY

The movie stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. It starts off with Damon running for a senate seat. He looks to be promising, giving motivational speeches, a youthful presence, and having the wit of Dave Stewart. All seems to be going well until one of his college party antics came back and bit him right on the kisser. This caused him to lose his election by a landslide, sending him to a state of depression. All that came to an end when he met a party crashing vixen named Elise, played by Emily Blunt.

Are those come fuck me eyes?

During their time in the bathroom he fell in love with this stranger. So in love that she motivated him to give the best speech of his life. She ran through his head constantly until he finally met her once again by chance. This made the Adjustment Bureau very upset. They have plans for the both of them and having them together could be dangerous. They devise a plan to make sure they never meet again but something horrible goes wrong. Damon finds out that we humans are not the only ones walking the earth.

Dicks

They kidnap him and explain that if he doesn't follow their plan and keep their secret then they will erase his entire memory, making his friends and the world think he went crazy. They tried their best for years keeping them apart but chance always found a way to put them back together. Damon finally gives up and challenges the Adjustment Bureau's powers with the help of one of their own and his own savvy brain. This takes us on a fun ride that will keep you guessing through out. I won't give away anymore spoilers but I will say the ending was pretty original and well done. The funnest movie I've seen all year!

ACTING

The acting here was much better than I anticipated. Everyone played their parts well except Matt Damon and Anthony Mackie. I thought their chemistry was pretty flat and not enough emotion between them. Emily Blunt is a must see here. Her personality blossomed on screen. She had chemistry with almost everyone she touched. I liked the fact that most of this cast had equal screen time surrounding Matt Damon but you can tell who Matt acted with and who he loved acting with. Despite some people's lack of chemistry many of the actors gave great solo performances. Overall the cast did a fine job.

Including you

SPECIAL EFFECTS

Most of the effects were done with very little CGI. They mostly focused on real live action sequences that gave this film a realistic vibe. So real it's like you can picture this happening to you. Don't expect a lot of blowing up or gun fire. I don't remember any but what I do remember is watching a cult classic in the making.

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The movie was written and directed by George Nolfi. George did a great job keeping the realism of the film but the pace of the story needs some work. Very hard to believe that during the time lapses that a guy like Damon couldn't find a suitable woman. I know Emily is hot but there's plenty of other hot women for damon to fall for in NYC. It didn't feel right giving the time lapses. Also not enough character development for the bureau or his friends. It felt pretty rushed. This is his first time directing a movie and you can tell. Some of their heads on top of the screen is cut off and the look of the film reminded me of a rainy day. Maybe with some more practice he'll do better but for this film... well I think he needs to stick to writing.

What are they doing?

THE END

Not a bad film. Not a bad film at all. If you can get passed its fault it should be an entertaining film. I know I enjoyed it and I think you all will too. Plus Emily Blunt dances and shows off her curves. Just WOW! You know she's going to be something in the future.

HOT!

STORY 8 out of 10
ACTING 7 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 7 out of 10
WRITING 6 out of 10
DIRECTING 4 out of 10

OVERALL 6 (GIVE IT A TRY)