RANT CENTRAL: EVOLUTION

WTF

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

I know what you guys are thinking. "Why is this fool not sticking to his day job?" I love reviewing movies and writing them but sometimes there's more to life than just reviewing films that you could have written better, watching Rachel Starr be a star, and dealing with the constant a$$holes that the Jersey Shore brought to life... again!

Douchebag

Every now and then I need an outlet to express my inner most thoughts no matter how rude, how non important they are, and how stupid they may sound. Sometimes I just need to tell the world to F**K off or how much I love them. You will learn with my rants that I will say things that you really want to say yourself but won't out of fear of rebuttal or be stapled as a lunatic. I just don't give a F**K so I will be your outlet. You can thank me later.

You can thank me now

WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT EVOLUTION

We shouldn't! Evolution is boring as all hell. I'm not going to go into a long detail rant about why evolution is boring and how unimportant it is. Do you really care about one day looking down from heaven or up from hell to see your great great great great great great grandchild standing 6 foot 8 weighing 245 pounds with a hot chick that's 6 foot 1 weighing 130 pounds, around your grandchild's arm and finding out that's under the norm? Of course not. That's because that's never going to happen. Our bodies, most of it anyway, are done evolving but our brains didn't get the memo... and never will.

WAIT! WHAT! HUH! PLEASE EXPLAIN

You see back in the day when humans was not on top of the food chain they had to run away from shit and climb trees. Those humans that could survived and passed on that "Run the hell away or your slow ass will get eaten gene." As for today we don't have that mess. We can happily seat our fat butts on the couch and not worry about getting eaten by a bear or a hungry tiger that doesn't know the meaning of personal space. Unless you're this guy... Timothy Treadwell

Timothy Treadwell google him

Due to technology our brains are getting smarter and our bodies are getting lazier. That's why we need to exercise more often. The brain will continue to evolve and become smarter due to our technology advances. In a not to distant future we won't even have the need for a keyboard since everything will be voice activated or touch screen. Holographical presentations are already on the hardware floor as well as 3D without the glasses. Virtual Reality is coming along and video games are starting to feel more real. Great so the new technology will come along and make my future generations smarter and cooler so why should I care now? Well you still shouldn't until you realize that the new generation of humans, one day, might be walking around with one big eye at the center of their forehead.

SAY WHAT!

You see with the brain evolving it picks what the body needs and doesn't need. With all this new technology that our brain is consuming to make the world better it may say one day "Hey fuck it! I never liked the right eye anyway." and combine the two to make one big movable eye. It's a defect just like having the thumb was to climb trees to get to food and away from predators. In this case our smart brain is telling us that we no longer need two eyes to do the job.

Holy Crap

It doesn't stop there! We humans as a whole will pick our lover. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but television is telling us what we should look like and who we should go for and its affecting our freaking brains! The brain is telling our genes that we need to look like those people on TV to find a mate. That's why some women are developing bigger backends and why some men are naturally slim and prone to be muscular. That's what most of us want so the brain will make the body achieve it without even telling us. So go ahead and go outside. Look at all the women and men out there right now. Look at the teenagers. How are they built? Not like they use to be that's for sure. You can literally blame the media.

Thank you media

ARE YOU DONE YET?

I would go into great detail and give you more shit to read but that would be boring and I know no one likes to read now a days so I'll stop here. I just find it amazing how evolution has changed for humans due to our need not to work so hard. Some of you won't agree with my statements and that's 100 percent OK. I know some scientists that do. These changes won't take effect for a long time and that's even if it does at all. You have plenty of time to enjoy your two eyes and be happy that you're 5 foot 10 and can still be able to get a chick. More than likely the chick will probably look like this...

Hurry up evolution gosh damn you!