Transformers: Dark side of the moon 3D review (Minor Spoilers)

Finally

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

When the trailer first hit the scene blockbuster movie goers jizzed all over the screen. It has a kickass score that sounds like the terminator, another hottie with a bubble butt, and special effects that is lovely for the eyes. No doubt this was the most anticipated action film for the summer of 2011. There is one problem though. It's directed by Micheal Bay. Micheal Bay is one of the most recognized directors of his time but telling a story is not his strong point. For an action movie there is a lot of story to tell and Michael Bay and his team does not deliver. He should have stuck to what he's good at. Then I wouldn't have to say that this movie is an epic fail!

STORY

It begins with the race to the moon gimmick created by the U.S. and Soviets. They both were trying to reach a falling spaceship from Cybertron that contains unspeakable power. The autobots have split up and are helping humans with their own problems. They are still waiting and looking for any signs of the decepticons. It wasn't until a Russian politician informed Lennox, played by Josh Duhamel, that he enountered something alien. Lennox takes his troops to investigate and finds something out of this world. One of the most powerful decepticons, Shockwave, made his presence known and almost made his way with the item. Needless to say Prime was pissed. He thought that the humans told him everything that they knew. He should have known you can never trust a human.

Damn it not again!

The autobots go to the moon and retrieve their former leader Sentinel Prime. He tells them that ship holds the key to the rebirth of their home planet but he only has five of the key elements. He made 100s. That means that the decepticons got there first and took the rest. The question is why? Meanwhile Sam, played by Shia LaBeouf, is having a hard time dealing with life. He got dumped by the woman that was never mentioned and lives with a smart hot one by the name of Carly, played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She works for a handsome car dealership owner and Sam is highly threatened by him for all the right reasons. At his new job he learns that the decepticons are back and are planning something big but the U.S. government refuses to heed the warnings of a teenager despite the fact he help save the world not once but twice. I thought Americans were smart.

We got our assees kicked

They learn the truth to late and all hell breaks lose. The decepticons are taking over the planet slowly but surely. The humans manage to strike a deal with them but they have to ship the autobots to another planet. They do and further proves how dumb humanity really is. The autobots aren't stupid and stays regardless. Can they robot up and stop the swarm of decepticons that is ripping this world apart? Only this 2 and a half hour movie can tell.

ACTING

YUCK! The only good actors here was Shia and John Turturro. They kept the film interesting and entertaining. I have to admit that Rosie did a fine job and it seemed that they worked with her strengths. Barely did she show any emotion and maybe that was a good thing. She needs some work but this is only her first movie. She needs to be cut some slack. John Malkovich was completely misused and unnecessary. I face palmed many times with his scenes and couldn't believe he agreed to this pathetic role. Turturro's assistant in the film was funny and he really wasn't trying to be. Overall for this department the film has some hits and a lot of misses. These actors can do better and have.

Kick ass scene

SPECIAL EFFECTS

This is where the movie wins. The 3D is the best I've seen for an action film since AVATAR. The scenes just pop out at you and Bay didn't get cheap with this department. The fight scenes are much better and just eye popping. I loved how shockwave looked and performed. This is the blockbuster movie of the summer and is the only reason this movie will rule the box office. I just wish I can say the same for everything else.

I have to learn sign language

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Ehren Kruger and directed by Michael Bay. Ehren tried to make this film more about story and less about action but he failed miserably. I didn't care for any of the characters including Sam, most of the humor was not necessary and added nothing but crap to the film, and the dialog was pathetic. Did he really think that the audience would buy Sam's love for his new girlfriend when the last one went through hell for him and he magically just forgets? Sorry but no not buying it for a second and neither did the audience.

I'm tapping that

Bay's directing is super. I have no complaints in this department. Bay put together a great film to watch but the pacing is slow. I felt there should have been more action than talking. None the less every scene looked beautiful.




THE END

A must see for all who love action. You won't be disappointed with the 3D and the action. Just be prepared to roll your eyes at all the stupidity in this film. Special effects wise it's a huge step up from the first two but has the worst writing and pace of them all. It's worth the ride though because the special effects make up for it.

OVERALL

STORY 4 out of 10
ACTING 5 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 9 out of 10
WRITING 3 out of 10
DIRECTING 9 out of 10

TOTAL 6 out of 10 (SEE IT FOR THE EFFECTS AND 3D)