Don't be afraid of the dark Review

Spooky

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

I saw this movie a few days before it came out. Due to Hurricane Irene I was unable to post new material for quite sometime. Now all this shit is cleaned up and I can finally get back to what I love to do. Too bad my first article back has to be about a movie that is a huge let down. The trailer makes it interesting but the actual movie is a borefest. Katie Holmes cuteness was the only good thing about this movie. Don't be afraid of the dark? I say bullshit!

STORY

It begins a few decades ago with a man so obsessed with the little monsters he feeds them his and his servants teeth for lunch and dinner. The little fuckers didn't give a crap and instead took him down to their little playhouse. Fast forward a few decades later and Katie Holmes is bringing home a new stepchild to play mother too. The child played by, Bailee Madison, doesn't like her new home and step mom. She hates her new environment and doesn't try to hide it. Lucky for her she meets some new friends in the basement and decides to set them free. This proves that children shouldn't play with tools.

It can kill you

Once freed these little goblin fairies cause all types of hell. They rip up dresses, injure people with anything they can find, and they love to mess with little girls. The father played by Guy Pearce is an idiot and doesn't believe a damn thing his daughter says. Katie Holmes, however, has more sense. She does her research and finds that her new home belongs to a bunch of child kidnappers. She tries to warn her husband but all he cares about is his job and money. When he finally finds out it's already too late.

I think I married a dumbass

The goblins learn that they have been had and the parents are taking their new friend away. They gang up and say f*ck that "SHE'S OURS!" and try their hardest to keep her around. They beat up the parents and almost succeeded in killing them. Katie Holmes character makes a brave choice and takes her stepchild's place as their new play thing. The child returns to the home several weeks later to give her a gift that she made. That is where we learn that Katie Holmes character is not dead but very much alive... If you count being a goblin that is!

ACTING

The acting here is horrible. The best actresses here is Katie and Bailee. Everyone else made me want to cover my ears and hope they didn't bleed. I couldn't buy Guy's character and he seemed miscast. I Just hope the remake of this remake is much better in the future. When your best actor is Katie Holmes you know you messed up.

Smashable

SPECIAL EFFECTS

This movie does contain some nice imagery and SOME creepy moments. I think they showed the goblins to soon and should have built up the suspense more. I didn't like how they looked and once revealed they didn't seem so scary anymore. The film looks nice in the dark and I believe the special effects are the highlight of this movie. They aren't great but they are far from bad.

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Guillermo Del Toro and directed by Troy Nixey. The film was written nicely and flowed well. The problem here was the actors. I think if he had better actors that know the meaning of chemistry this movie would have been a lot better. The directing wasn't bad either. He captured everything he needed and he made the film as spooky as he could. Too bad he failed!

THE END

I would skip it. Don't waste your money. Wait for video. If you want something scary I would wait until October hits. The best horror films come out during that month. You'll thank me later!!!

Or you can thank me now

OVERALL

STORY 4 out of 10
ACTING 4 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 5 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 6 out of 10

OVERALL 5 out of 10 (SKIP IT)