ROCK OF AGES Review (Minor Spoilers)

Musical on crack

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

When I first heard about this movie I didn't know too much about it. I knew it was a Broadway musical that won many awards. Rock of Ages is a rock musical that can be enjoyed by many. I am a fan of a few musicals but I can honestly say that this isn't my type of genre. After watching the movie I will have to change my mind. It put a smile on my face all the way through. I never saw the musical but after watching this movie, it makes me want too. If you're a fan of musicals then I suggest you see it this weekend. It's nothing but a good time.

STORY

A young woman named Sherrie, played by Julianne Hough, dreams of being a star. She moves to the Sun Set Strip and works at the Bourbon Room as a waitress. Her new found friend Drew , played by Diego Bonata, gets her the job after her suitcase was stolen. There is some tension going on at the Bourbon Room. The owner Dennis , played by Alec Baldwin, and his sidekick Lonny, played by Russell Brand, fears that the night club may close. The mayor's wife, played by Catherine - Zeta Jones, wants to clean up the strip and close down the Bourbon. Together they manage to get Stacee Jaxx, played by Tom Cruise, to play there. He just split from his band and is looking to show the world how good he is. Despite this the mayor's wife still wants to close the room. Tensions spill over to everyone's life and looks like Sherrie's dream may not come to pass. Can the club owner keep his club open or will the mayor's wife flush them down the toilet? You will need to go to the movies and get your rock on to find out.

ACTING

Just phenomenal! Tom Cruise rocked this role. He was the best one in the film. He had chemistry with everyone he touched and should get an Oscar nod for his performance. Alec Baldwin did wonders with his role as well. He and Russell Brand was a delight to see together and made me believe that they were really pals. Catherine was more annoying than useful and her singing was laughable. Mary J Blidge surprisingly pulled a great performance that left the crowd in awe. Overall, the performances were solid and it looked like they were having a great time.

I'm the fucking man baby!

SPECIAL EFFECTS

The effects were great. It looked like I was watching a real life concert. The pyro and the lighting made them look like real rock stars. I loved the 80s feel and how Tom acted like a pimped out Axl Rose. They made this film into one big spectacle.

Rock on!

WRITING AND DIRECTING

This movie is written by too many writers to care for and directed by Adam Shankman. The writers made the characters bigger than life and the star wannabes naive idiots. The story went on too long but I loved the singing and performances. They really fell into their roles and left themselves at home. They did throw too many songs in though which made the film stretch on too long. Adam did a wonderful job directing. This film looks like one big rock concert full of joy and despair. If this film was shorter it would be a masterpiece.

THE END

This movie is fun. It has some of the best rock songs from the 80s, featuring some cool actors. I will say that this film lasts too long and should have been made shorter. Other than that, this film should bring a smile to your face. It's a rocking good time and one of Tom Cruise's best performances. Enjoy!

OVERALL

STORY 7 out of 10
ACTING 9 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 8 out of 10
WRITING 7 out of 10
DIRECTING 8 out of 10

OVERALL 8 out of 10 (MUST SEE)

Prometheus Review (Minor Spoilers)

Alien Prequel?

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

A long time ago Ridley Scott and James Cameron expressed interest in making a prequel to Alien. This movie was to explain the space jockey found at the aliens' ship. Egos prevailed and James decided to run for the door, but not Ridley Scott. Instead he continued on the project and decided to make this film stand alone. Then he changed his mind again and decided to put this in the same universe as Aliens and Predators. So is this a prequel or not? Looks like it is but the movie manages to still separate itself from the other films. It's a unique film that explains a lot but leaves you wanting more.

STORY

Why were we made? That was the question bothering religious archaeologists Charlie, played by Logan Marshall Green, and Elizabeth Shaw, played by Noomi Rapace. They found paintings, showing the same diagram from different cultures, all over the world. This makes them believe that they were created by aliens. This also grabs the attention of Peter Weyland, played by Guy Pearce. He enlists a crew of 17 to check out the exact location. Meredith, played by Charlize Theron, is heading the operation along with an android named David, played by Micheal Fassbender. She instructs the archaeologists not to make contact under any circumstances. The archaeologists learn that the Weyland corporation has its own agenda but can't put their finger on it. What they really needed to worry about was that android.

Sneaky little bastard

After finding the site they were looking for they investigate the area. They learn that they did indeed come from an alien race and looks like they were engineered for a purpose. Shaw manages to get one of the engineers head and brings it back to the ship. David also manages to sneak away with an alien substance. He puts the substance in one of Logan's drinks. This causes Logan to get very sick and Meredith has no choice but to put him out of his misery. Little did they know that their misery had just begun.

Ah shit!

Shaw learns that she has become pregnant from Logan's super sperm. The Weyland Corp wants to freeze her long enough to get her back to Earth but she has other plans. She escapes and performs a C section via a mechanical machine. What came out of her looked like a squid on steroids. We learn that Peter Weyland was on board the ship the whole time and that David has been working for him. There is one engineer still alive and Peter wants to know if it can save him from certain death. What it does is kick the living shit out of everyone and sets his sight on earth. Can Elizabeth and the rest of the crew stop the engineer from destroying the entire human race? Probably not.

We're fucked!

ACTING

The acting here was great. Everyone seemed to have chemistry with one another. You could cut the tension with a knife with some of the actors. Micheal was able to deliver with everyone he spoke too. Charlize did as well and I think her playing villains is a great career move. These characters make you want them to survive or die horrible deaths. When you want one person to make it out alive and the other to be crushed to death, getting her just due, you did your job.

They don't pay us enough

SPECIAL EFFECTS

The special effects are breathtaking. They did a fine job with detail and suspense. The aliens looked real enough to pass as terrifying. The last half hour truly showed how far we came in special effects. The 3D does make this film better in every way. They didn't have things jump out at you or poke you in the eye, but added depth to the environment and the terror as whole. I wish more horror/thrillers fellow suit.

I'm just speechless

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof. They put together a unique story from all religious prospects. The dialog seemed natural and the story flows at decent pace. They managed to add an intriguing storyline with suspense and thrills. Ridley Scott was able to capture the fear of everyone involved. The way he filmed this movie makes you gasp for air and cringe in disgust. I'm glad he returned to the Sci-Fi genre because it needs more directors like him.

THE END

The movie is a must see. It has an interesting story and explains a lot about the alien franchise. It does this indirectly while giving us a whole new world to explore.You will see the first face hugger and an ancestor of the aliens you came to love. It is an intriguing film and makes you ask the question "Where did we come from?"

OVERALL

STORY 8 out of 10
ACTING 7 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 8 out of 10
WRITING 7 out of 10
DIRECTING 8 out of 10

OVERALL 8 out of 10 (Must See)

Snow White And The Huntsman Review (Minor Spoilers)

What the bloody hell?

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

When I first heard of this movie I had it confused with Mirror Mirror. I thought Tarsem Singh was directing and was highly disappointed when I learned of my misinformation. No worries though, this film still sports the underrated Kristen Stewart and the overrated Chris Hemsworth. The pretty Charlize Theron is playing The Queen and the special effects didn't seem all that bad. Still, I thought that the cast would fail at chemistry and destroy the movie. Luckily this turned out false but still left a bad taste in my mouth. No matter how hard I tried getting into this film I couldn't help but feel something was off.

STORY

The story begins with Snow White as a child. She is the most beautiful lady of the land and is admired throughout. She is able to bring joy to whomever she sees and blah blah blah, you heard the story before no doubt. Her father, however, had to deal with the lose of his wife from a deadly disease. An army of witchcraft saw this as the perfect time to start a war. The father charges into battle only to be greeted by an army made of glass. After dispatching the army he rescues a beautiful woman named Ravenna, played by Charlize Theron. He instantly falls in love and marries her the next day. She informs him that she was behind the attack by stabbing him in the chest. She lets in her real army and takes over his kingdom, imprisoning Snow White at the top of the tower. She was a real bitch to say the least.

Milf

Fast forward about a decade later and The Queen is showing her age. She needs to consume youth from women and men in order to look young. She asks the mirror who's the most fairest of all. The mirror busts her bubble and tells her it's Snow White, but in order to remain her young self she needs to eat the heart of Snow White. She commands her brother to bring her in but he fails to do so. He allowed his horny self to talk too much and Snow White managed to escape. The Queen orders a Huntsman played by, Chris Hemworth, to bring the princess to her, in exchange that she will bring his dead wife back to life. You can guess what he agreed too.

Dumbass

Once he finds Snow White she informs him that The Queen is a liar. The brother spills the beans and tells The Huntsman the truth. The Huntsman proceeds to save Snow White countless times throughout the rest of the story. He learns of her true nature and wants to protect her. Meanwhile, her childhood friend is also out looking for her and wants to redeem himself for leaving her behind. Can her friend find her and make things right? Will Snow White regain her thrown and kill The Queen? Will the Huntsman fall in love with Snow White and break her curse? The questions have already been answered if you watch the trailer closely.

Joan of Arc?

ACTING

The acting was pretty decent overall. It felt like Chris and Kristen had the most chemistry out of the bunch. I enjoyed the other cast members performances but it all seemed to fail once they starting talking to Kristen. It was like she sucked the talent right out of them. Charlize Theron played The Queen well but was too over dramatic for my taste. Charlize knows how to act and pulled one of the best performances in this film. Overall the acting isn't bad but it's not a home run either.

Milk

SPECIAL EFFECTS

I enjoyed the look of the film and the CGI. The effects are eye popping and somewhat gut - wrenching. I liked the battle scenes and how they made the dark forest come to life.  The witches magic looked as evil as it could be without giving it a R rating. You can tell they wanted to make it darker but the studio wouldn't let their guard down. Despite that most of you should be happy with the outcome in this department.

O shit

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by too many writers to care about and directed by Rupert Sanders. The story took to long to pick up and when it did I wasn't satisfied. They talked a lot and gave us nothing to excite us. I got bored real quick. The dialog is believable and I liked how they made The Huntsman act like a drunk Thor. It brightened up some of the dark sides of the script. The directing was spot on and I saw nothing wrong in this department. I know the director wanted to balance the film with story and action but it didn't click. He did the best he could and it shows on camera.

THE END

The film is worth a view but not on the big screen. I would advise to wait for video. You might fall asleep before the action starts. Other wise the film is pretty decent and gives a unique take on Snow White. The Brothers Grimm might be proud if they were still alive. On second thought... probably not.

Kristen Stewart as Snow White? Fuckers!

OVERALL


STORY 5 out of 10
ACTING 6 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 7 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 8 out of 10


OVERALL 6 out of 10 (WAIT FOR DVD)