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| Not this shit again |
THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE
I heard a lot about this movie. Mostly from virgin teenagers. They were like " All my Godddddddddddddddddddddddd it's Twilight. Bella and Edward are getting married. Do you know how long Bella's been trying to bone Edward? All my goooooooooooooooooood!" It's f**cking sickening. Given the hype I had no choice but to see this film. It's not a bad film all around but that's because I'm a Kristen Stewart fan and she's one of the few reasons why I do watch the films. This one is worth a watch but if you're not in the age bracket... wait for video.
STORY
It begins with the wedding invitations being sent out. Some people are happy and others are furious. Most of the beginning is a long drawn out piece of their wedding and honeymoon. That's when Edward goes ape $hit on Bella's vagina. After the rough sex and Jacob's crying she begins to feel ill. They sense something is wrong and Bella quickly finds out that she's pregnant. I guess Edward is superdick after all.
The Collins try to hide it but that never works. The wolves find out about it and wants to kill Bella. Jacob comes to her aide to defend her but this alpha male may not be enough. The baby inside is growing fast and it looks like it's sucking the life out of Bella. Not only that the royal vampires are going to pay a visit and they are showing their nasty side. How will all this turn out? Watch the movie and find out!
ACTING
It sucked. All the acting for Twilight movies suck. What I really enjoyed was Dakota Fanning and her mob squad. They were fun to watch and the highlight of the film. I wish there was more screen time for them but they gave enough I guess. I just wish the others was just as good.
SPECIAL EFFECTS
For this type of movie you would expect some good effects. There wasn't really but the editing job, birth scene, and imagery will blow your mind. I'm surprised this movie got a PG 13 rating. The love scene alone was hard to watch. I wonder if they will make a directors cut of the movie. Probably not. They still want kids to watch.
WRITING AND DIRECTING
The film was written by Melissa Rosenberg. The plot is stupid and the dialog is worse. If it wasn't for all the cute teen look a likes in this film this movie would flop. The directing was done nicely though. I loved the fight scenes and how they showed their love for one another. I think Bill Condon directed this film better than any other. I just wish the writing was too.
THE END
If you're into this kind of stuff then go see it. You might actually like it. If you're not then wait for video. I'm sure this movie will open big and the teens will flood the theater. I'm just glad I got to see it before then. I fear for the next generation.
OVERALL
STORY - 6 out of 10
ACTING 5 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 7 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 7 out of 10
OVERALL 6 out of 10 (YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT ANYWAY)
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