Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review (Minor Spoilers)

Presidential Ass Kicker

THE MOVIE: CRITIC'S TAKE

When people first heard about the film they filled the world with laughter. Good old honest Abe was a vampire hunter and president? I smell a small case of bullshit. People said that they couldn't believe that Hollywood would steep that low to make a buck. The real problem with these people is that they talk out of their ass about a subject they know nothing about. This story is an adaptation of a book written by Seth Grahame - Smith. The book found an audience due to its unusual storytelling and injecting fantasy into the real world. The book is a must read but will this film follow suit? Of course not... the book is always better.

STORY

It starts with Abraham Lincoln as a child. His father is paying off his debt when Abe witnesses his friend being beaten. He tries to help but only manages to get his father into trouble with his debt collector. Turns out the collector is a vampire and kills his mother. As Abe grows up he resents the man that destroyed his family. He gains the courage to kill his mother's murderer, by means of getting drunk, and attacks him. This proves to be almost fatal but is saved by one powerful vampire hunter named Henry, played by Dominic Cooper.

Isn't he dreamy?

He teaches Abe everything he needs to learn about vampires. He sends him on his way to do Henry's will but is not allowed to kill the one vamp that he desires. During his adventures he meets a young woman named Mary Todd, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead. He courts her away from his future presidential opponent and marries her. His adventures has caught the attention of a powerful vampire named Adam, played by Rufus Sewell. He believes that Abe and Henry will detour his plans of taking over America and sends him a message. The message is to kill his lover the same way his mother died.

I think he gets the message.

He ends up saving his wife and his friends life from Adam and his vamps. He learns that he will have to save America from the political front, not the battlefield. He becomes president and soon realizes that the south is using vampires to help them in the war. Mary bears Abe's child but that is short lived. Adam has the child killed which sends the Lincolns into dismay. Abe and Henry make a plan to save the war, America, and to put a stop to Adam's plan. The question is how much are they willing to lose?

ACTING

Overall the acting wasn't too bad. I did think Benjamin Walker played his role well. He wasn't trying to act like a president but a killing machine. I will say that the chemistry was lacking with many of the actors. I didn't buy Benjamin and Mary as love interests and his moments with his friends felt forced. Rufus had the best performance in this movie and it seemed like he was the only one that cared. The acting isn't horrible but you can tell they were just acting. Many of them couldn't fall into their roles.

I'm going to eat your friends

SPECIAL EFFECTS

The effects were not impressive at all. I've seen much better and I think most of you has as well. The train scene looked like something out of a video game and the vampires were more laughable than scary. I couldn't feel the terror ooze come from the screen. The clothing and atmosphere did capture the feel of that era but overall this department was a disappointment. They could have done a lot better with the budget they had.

The only cool part of the movie.

WRITING AND DIRECTING

The film was written by Seth Grahame - Smith and directed by Timur Bekmambetov. Seth wrote the book and the screenplay. The book is much better and has a decent pace but the movie doesn't follow suit. The dialog is laughable and everything is predictable. The directing was decent though. He was able to capture the movie in full view and made the film watchable. I just can't get past how this movie feels more like a video game than an actual film.

THE END

Skip it. Wait for Netflix or Redbox. It's not worth your money. It's hardly worth your time. It's one of those movies that you might catch on HBO and say to yourself "So glad I skipped that crap."

OVERALL

STORY 5 out of 10
ACTING 4 out of 10
SPECIAL EFFECTS 5 out of 10
WRITING 5 out of 10
DIRECTING 6 out of 10

OVERALL SCORE 5 out of 10 (Skip it)